Can Love Save Me?
by dilu4ever
Summary: Langston's life seems pefect but there's something terribly wrong that no one sees.
1. Chapter 1

Can Love Save Me?

_**A/N: I am attempting to finally start this fic. I hope to get my others updated today, as well. Those of you who have not watched the trailer for this, the link is **__**/watch?vCpUjiJq86uE**__**. Basically Langston seems okay from the outside, but something is terribly wrong. May include current Langston storyline, but I am not really sure yet**_

_**Chapter 1**_

Langston Wilde went up to her bedroom. She just could not deal with anymore today. She loved Starr, but she was so tired of her drama. She had a life too, and it all just overwhelmed her in a really big way. The only thing that did not seem to irritate her was Markko, but sometimes even he got to her. He was always talking about some thing or another, things that today just seemed so trivial. She wished that she could find a way to escape it all, but sighed that it was going to be like any other day of just going through the motions, while inside screaming. She looked over at the picture of her parents and grabbed it. She hoped that one day she could stop being so angry at them for leaving her. She was sixteen years old, stuck in the middle of all this chaos, and it was their entire fault. She should have been able to grow up a normal teenager, fighting with them over mundane things, but instead she was stuck in the middle of all this chaos. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and looked at the wallpaper with a smile. She loved Markko so much. She remembered when they took this picture last year at the amusement park on the school trip. It was the one day that she let herself just get away from all the drama and be happy with the guy that she loved. She decided to call him and see what he was doing. He always seemed to know how to make her feel better, no matter what. She dialed his number and waited for him to answer.

"Hello."

"Hey, babe, what are you up to?"

"I just got off of work. What are you up to?"

"I was just bored, and you know the usual chaos of living here."

Markko got a worried look. "Are you okay with all that? I know it stresses you out sometimes."

"I don't know. Sometimes I just wish…I don't know."

"You wish what, babe?"

She took a breath. "I guess sometimes I just wish I could be a normal sixteen year old girl, not some freak stuck with all this crap."

"I like that you're a freak."

She laughed a little. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make me almost believe that everything could be okay, even though I know it won't ever be."

"Lang, you are really worrying me. Do you want me to come over?"

"Markko, you just got home. I'll be fine."

"No, that's it. I am coming over. I'll see you in fifteen minutes." He hung up the phone before she could argue. He really hated seeing her so miserable. He hated all the drama she had to go through and wished that he could just protect her from all that. He drove over to La Boulaie, and he found her in the kitchen eating a bowl of ice cream. He kissed her cheek. "Hey, are you eating ice cream without me?"

She smiled. "Are you jealous?" He kissed her lips this time. "Always, I do like that taste of chocolate." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeper, wanting to forget the pain. She needed to feel whole again. It was just one of those days when it was what she needed so that she could avoid crying herself to sleep once again. She deepened the kiss even more.

He finally broke away. "I have to come see you more often."

She kissed his neck. "Take me upstairs and make love to me."

He gave her a look. "Langston, baby, that's what you need right now."

She got defensive. "What is with you? You are seventeen. Do you not want to have sex? Most guys would jump at the chance and you always have to turn me down. What is wrong with you?"

He scowled at her. "I am sorry if I do not want your first time to be all about you just using me as a warm body so that you do not cry yourself to sleep when you're so depressed you cannot think."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Babe, I am just worried about you. It's not that I do not want you. I just do not want you to look back on it and hate me. It could destroy us. We have seen sex destroy before. I cannot let that happen to us too."

She knew that he was right but was honestly not hearing anything but that he did not want her even after this long. He was like her parents, and making her feel like she just was not good enough. Maybe he was right. "Markko, leave…now!"

"Langston, I…"

She screamed at him. "You are not willing to help, so just get away from me."

He tried to take her in his arms, but she would not let him even hold her. "Okay, I will go. But, you need to know I am here."

She did not even look at him. "If you were here, you will help. Clearly you are not here, and I cannot count on anyone but me, ever." He looked at her really hurt, but finally did just leave. She wanted to stop him but the pain was so intense that she could not. She did not know why, but she made herself three more bowls of ice cream before finally going back to her room. She felt extremely sick and needed to lie down. She did not know what had made her eat all the ice cream. She finally got up to her room and looked at herself in the mirror. She hated what she saw. She just wanted it all to go away. She sat on her bed still feeling worse and worse. She did not know what to do. Every bone in her body was screaming and nothing would make the pain stop. She finally stood up and went into the bathroom.

She walked in there and all she felt was cold and empty. She needed to feel in control of her life again, and not spiraling out of control. She looked in the mirror again and finally made the decision. She kneeled down next to the toilet, and stuck her finger down her throat just past her gag reflex. She felt the need to stop, but she could not. She needed to stop the pain. It was all a blur for the next few minutes, until she stood up and washed her face.

She was confused now. She felt so lost and alone before, but now she felt strangely in control. . She knew that some people would think she was wrong, but it made her feel better and that is what matters. She went back in her bedroom and fixed her makeup. Langston really felt bad about what she had said to Markko. She knew that he was just trying to help, and she missed him already. She decided to text him. "Hey, babe. I lay down for a bit. I feel better. Please come back. I miss you." She hoped he did not hate her. Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. She ran to it and it was Markko. He looked at her worriedly.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I guess I was just tired." They went into the living room. Markko could not help but shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. She was so upset and now she seemed so normal.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am fine. I have you. That is all I need. I love you."

He wrapped his arms around her. "I love you too; Langston and you can always talk to me."

She smiled at him. "I know that. I know that you are not willing to sleep with me, but can we at least make out since this house is actually empty?"

He smiled at her. "I think I can manage that." He pulled her into a passionate kiss and kissed her deeply. He could not help but really worry that this was just the beginning. He tried to push those thoughts down and focus on her, but something was not right.

Langston focused on kissing him and being in love. For the first time in a while, she felt so in control and knew that it was just a one time thing. She just needed to push the pain down, for now.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

_**Will it just be a one time thing or is Langston spiraling out of control in a big way? Will Markko save her before it is too late? Stay Tuned.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_**A/N: Hope you all enjoy this next chapter. I am going to try to update this one as frequently as possible, so that there are no long delays. Enjoy **_

Markko had not seen Langston much over the last couple of days, and that really worried him. This past summer, they had become so close that they spent every waking moment together. Now, it seemed like she was almost avoiding him. He could not help but wonder if she was still angry at him for turning her down yet again. It was not that he did not want to sleep with her. He just could not let her lose herself in him that way. He wanted their first time to be special, and something that they both knew was right at that time. He knew that probably sounded lame, but that is how he felt when it came to her. She had changed him so much, and he honestly never wanted to be the person he was before her again. He knew things were hectic at La Boulaie with Starr's pregnancy, and the fact that Langston was trying to help Starr deal with losing Cole, too. He really wished there was a way that Langston could just separate herself from that whole situation. He changed clothes into something decent and made him way over to La Boulaie. The maid let him in and he made his way to the kitchen. When he got to the door, he just listened to Starr and Langston talk.

"Starr, I know. I am not saying that Cole was right for breaking up with you. I am just saying that if you give it some time, he will come around."

"Langston, you did not see the way he told me that he could never look at me the same way again. What if he never wants to be with me again?"

"Starr, he just needs to calm down and deal with your decision."

"I need him back now, though." Markko had heard this too many times before and decided that it was time to intervene. He knew how much this same conversation over the last few weeks caused Langston to really get stressed out. He walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning, ladies." Langston smiled at him, and walked over to him. She then kissed him softly.

Starr sighed. "Hey Markko, have you seen Cole?"

"Not in a few days, why?"

"I was just wondering if he has said anything about me."

Markko sighed. "Not really." Langston listened to Starr grill Markko for at least ten minutes, before she decided that she was hungry. She went over to the fridge and made herself a sandwich and some chips. She really tried to pay attention to what was being said, but she was so tired of this conversation. They had been having this same one for weeks now. She hated Cole for doing this to Starr, but she was tired of talking about it. It just made her miss her parents and her old life even more. Dorian then walked in the room.

"Good Morning, kids."

Markko smiled. "Good morning, Dr. Lord."

"Langston, dear, do not forget that you have that interview this afternoon with social services."

Markko looked at them both confused. "Social Services?"

Langston sighed. "Yeah, every few months they do a home visit to make sure that everything is going smoothly. It is this afternoon, actually."

He went over and put his arms around her. "Are you nervous, babe?"

"It always makes me nervous."

Dorian started to go on. "Langston, just remember how important this meeting is. One mistake and you could go back in the group home in a second." Markko could not believe what he was hearing. Was Dorian really that dense that she thought telling Langston that was a good idea? That was just going to make her freak out even more.

Langston felt the room spin with all the pressures and everyone's problems. She decided that she was still hungry and grabbed a big bowl of ice cream. She ate it relatively fast. As she listened to Dorian still go on about the importance of being professional with social services, and how this could negatively affect all of them, she found herself completely zoning out. It was the feel that she had quite often the last few days. After a while, Dorian finally stopped talked talking. Langston needed to get away. Her life was completely on a downward spiral once again, and she had to fix that immediately. "If you all would excuse me, I need to go upstairs for a few minutes."

Dorian still had not even stopped talking, and now Starr was complaining to Markko again. When no one even acknowledged her, she just headed upstairs. She never understood how it was possible to feel completely isolated, scared, and alone in a big house with so many people. She walked in her bedroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Even though she was still spending so much time on the way she looked every day, she felt like she looked awful. Her stomach was killing her, and she did not know what to do about it. She finally looked up with a resolution, and went into the bathroom once again. She pulled her hair back and once again managed to make herself throw up. Afterwards, she went into her room again to fix her makeup. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she had regrets. She knew what she was doing was wrong. She actually believed the first time she did it would be the only time but she had done it three times now. It made her feel better. Had she completely lost her mind? Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in."

Markko came in. "Hey, I was wondering where you disappeared to."

She gave him a look. "I told everyone I was coming up here for a few minutes. I guess you did not hear me."

He went over and put his arms around her. "I am sorry that Dr. Lord does that to you. I know it stresses you out."

She relaxed in his embrace. His arms felt so good around her. She felt so relaxed now. He could never know. If he knew, he may leave her and she really needed him in her life to survive. He was everything to her. "Where did Dorian go?"

"She had to go do something at Cramer Industries or some crap like that."

"Do you mind staying up here with me for a while?" He kissed her softly.

"Of course, whatever you need."

She smiled at him. "Lay down with me." He held her hand and they walked over to the bed. They then lay down together and he just held her.

"Are you sure you are okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem so far away. I cannot really put my finger on it but I am really worried about you."

She immediately got defensive. "Am I that damaged that there has to be something wrong with me?"

"I never said that. I am just worried about you. You are my girlfriend."

She tried to hold back the tears. "Markko, I am sorry. I did not mean to snap at you. I love you more than anything. I love that you are here and that if I feel like talking, you are here anywhere, anytime."

He smiled. "Am I really that predictable?"

She laughed. "Oh yeah, baby. I know you better than anyone does."

"How do you know that I want to stay up here and do not want to go back downstairs?"

"Umm, because you do not want to go play twenty questions of Cole Thornhart's every move anymore than I do?"

Markko rolled his eyes. "Is she always like that?"

"I love Starr, and she is my best friend. But, she just has to give it time. I am sick of talking about Starr and Cole."

Markko smiled at her. "I am too." She leaned over and kissed him, then moved on top of him to just kiss him passionately. He broke the kiss for a second. "This is so much better." She pulled him back in the kiss. A while later, they broke apart breathless. He smiled at her. "This is so nice."

"What is?"

He wrapped his arms around her. "Escaping from life, you know. It is great to just be us and not feel any stress or problems at all." She put her head on his shoulder and ran her hands over his chest.

"It is perfect. Markko, can I tell you something?"

He rubbed her back. "You know, you can tell me anything."

"I have really been having a hard time with the stress and the last few weeks I have been" She stopped. She did not know how to say it. He put his hand on her cheek.

"You have been what, baby?"

She started to tear up. "I have been….really scared that the stress is too much."

"Are you sure that is what you meant?"

"Yeah, of course." She put her head back down on his chest.

He relented. "Okay, I believe you. I love you Langston and you can always tell me anything."

"I love you too."

Markko felt as if she was holding something back, but knew it was better not to argue with her about it. Something was wrong, and he was determined to find out what it was. But, for now, he just had to be her protector and her escape from what she was going through until she was ready to let him in completely.

**TO BE CONTINUED..**

_**Will the meeting with social services cause Langston to spiral more out of control? Will she be able to tell Markko the truth or continue to lose herself even more. Stay Tuned.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_**A/N: Sorry for the long delay. I had this idea a month ago, but I have been working like crazy, so this is the first chance I have had to sit down and write it. Hope you all enjoy **__****_

Langston was really trying to keep her stress down. This meeting was so important. Things had gone completely crazy at home, and they had to reschedule so many times. She tried telling herself that everything was fine, but she really was not getting any better. It used to be that she would just try to regain control of her life by purging when the stress got to her. But, lately, it was becoming more frequent. She was just glad that no one seemed to be catching on. She did not have a problem anyway. She just needed to focus on her life. She had an amazing boyfriend, who she loved with everything she had. She walked over to her closet to get ready for this interview with social services. They should be here soon. She glanced at the clock and panicked. The meeting was at 11:00 and it was already 10:30. She needed to get in the shower. She had not eaten today or anything. There was a knock at her bedroom door. She opened it to see Dorian.

"Langston, dear, why aren't you ready yet? You have not even eaten yet."

"Dorian, I just won't eat. It's not a big deal."

"Well, I brought you up a tray."

"I don't have to eat. I just need to get ready."

"Langston, you're never going to be ready in time."

She snapped at Dorian, "Well, maybe I would if you would get the hell out and leave me alone!"

"Excuse me."

"I am sorry. I just need to get ready. I'll be down in time. I promise."

"This conversation is not over. We will discuss this later." Dorian gave her a look and walked out. Langston sighed. She was never going to be ready in time. She could not believe that she snapped at Dorian. It is not her fault that the morning was out of control. She grabbed a quick shower and decided to eat really fast. Everything was just crazy. She needed to get control, so she ate everything that was on the tray and then went into the bathroom finally. She then proceeded to lean over the toilet and do what she had learned to be good at in such a short amount of time. Afterwards, she felt much better and brushed her teeth. She was happy when she saw she still had some time to finish getting ready. She finished with a few minutes to spare and decided to call Markko.

"Come on Markko, pick up."

"Hey, babe."

"Hi, I just wanted to call you before my interview with social services."

"Are you still nervous about that?"

"No, not at all. Everything is completely in control."

Markko was growing more and more worried about her every day. She would stress then talk about control, and be perfectly fine. "That's good. Do you want to hang out later?"

"I would love to. Markko, I love you."

"I love you too, babe." He hung up the phone, wishing that he knew what she was going through and why she could not let him in. He had noticed more and more that she was hot and cold with him. Either she was telling him to leave her alone, or she was all over him. Not that he minded either but he was really starting to become concerned for her

--

Langston finally got downstairs, just as the doorbell rang. She opened it. "Mrs. Woodrow, hi."

"Good morning, Miss Wilde. You remember my associate, Mr. Owens?"

"Yeah, I do. I think Dorian's already in the living room if you want to join us." Langston opened the living room doors to find Dorian in there threatening to ruin someone's career and cleared her throat.

"Oh, I didn't realize that they were all already here. Come in."

"Is everything okay, Doctor Lord," asked Mrs. Woodrow.

"Yeah, that was nothing. Okay, what do you need to know so that it can be approved for me to go through officially adopting Langston?"

"We need to make sure that this foster placement has been ultimately successful."

"Well, look at her. She seems well taken care of."

Mr. Owens spoke up. "What I am worried about is if this is a stable home for a young girl. What kind of example do you people show with the fact that there has already been one pregnant teenager in this house?"

Dorian interrupted. "That has nothing to do with Langston. That was all my grand-niece Starr's father, Todd Manning's fault."

"That brings me to him. How can we guarantee that just because he is not living here now, that he won't live here again at some point? Our records indicate by the background checks done on a Blair Cramer last year that she and Mr. Manning had been married several times and that he is known to be a risk."

Langston asked, "So, because of all of them, I might have to go back to the group home. I can't go back there. I won't let you send me back."

"Miss Wilde, we do not know if that is what will happen, but we have to let you know that it is possible."

Langston sat on the couch paralyzed with fear the next few minutes. She barely heard what they were all saying. All she could hear was everyone telling her that she could wind up back in the system. Things were once again falling apart. She finally zoned back in. "So, that said, Miss Wilde, we will be in contact with you. For now, the adoption has to be on hold. You may stay here with Doctor Lord until we make a decision whether or not this is a safe environment for you to be in or not.

Langston broke down in tears. She couldn't believe this was happening again. "Dorian, can they really do this? Can they really take me away again?"

"Of course not. You're a Cramer Woman. You're not going anywhere."

"Do you mind if I have Markko come over?"

"Sure, he can come over."

"Thank you." Langston pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and texted him.

"_Can you come over please?" _She waited a few minutes. She was really upset and so scared that she was about to start crying again.

"_Sure. I'll be there in a few." _Langston was hungry, but she knew that she would just wind up upstairs in the bathroom again. Her throat still hurt from earlier. She did not regret it, since she knew she did not have a problem with it but she just could not do that right now. She finally heard a knock at the kitchen door. She opened it and fell into his arms.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

She completely lost it. "Well, because of Starr and her family, they are talking about sending me back into the foster care system."

"What? Are you serious?"

She yelled, "Markko, do I look like I am kidding?!?!"

"Just calm down, Lang."

"I am plenty calm, okay. I am sorry but my life is falling apart."

"Is there anything that I can do to help you?"

"I need to eat something. Maybe I am just hungry."

"Do you want to fix something?"

"I am thinking maybe we should get a couple pizzas."

"Yeah, that sounds really good actually." Markko walked over to the phone and called it in. "Okay, they will be here soon."

"Markko, thank you for being understanding."

He walked over to her. "I just really hate what you are doing to yourself. I promise you I will never let them take you again."

"That is very sweet, but how can you guarantee that?"

He looked deep in her eyes. "Because I would rather die than let anything happen to you."

She smiled and kisses him deep as he wrapped his arms around her. Then, they heard a knock at the door. "That must be the pizza." He smiled at her and got it. They sat down at the table and began to eat lunch.

Langston was still so scared. She needed to be able to focus and trust Markko this afternoon. She knew the only thing that would let her focus. She ate several pieces of pizza. "Markko, I am so full."

"Yeah, you must have been really hungry."

"I really was. I did not eat much for breakfast this morning. Hey, do you want to watch a movie or something in my room with me?"

"What about Dr. Lord's rules?"

"She's gone for the day."

He wrapped his arms around her. "Okay, then we'll watch a movie." He followed her upstairs and lay on her bed. They finally picked a movie out and she went to lay down, when she was starting to feel stressed. She went over to her dresser.

"Hey, I am going to go change clothes. I'll be back in a minute, okay?"

He smiled at her. "Okay, I'll be here." She smiled at him and went down the hall to the bathroom. She changed clothes, and looked at herself in the mirror. She could not believe that all this was happening. She could not lose the people that meant so much to her. She started to cry again, but she knew that she didn't want Markko's pity, not today. She decided that just one more time, she would do this and then she would be good for a while. She kneeled down over the toilet, not realizing that she had dropped a bottle of lotion off the counter.

--

Markko smiled while he waited for her. Maybe she would be okay. He did not want anything to ever happen to her, but she really seemed okay when she left. He was going to help her through this, and would never let anything happen to her. He heard a noise from the bathroom and hoped she was okay. "Lang, are you okay?" He got no answer so decided to check it out. He heard something and decided she must have gotten hurt, so he opened the door. "Are you o—oh my God, what are you doing?"

She looked up at him. "Markko get out now." She pushed him out of the bathroom and broke down on the bathroom floor in tears.

**To Be Continued…**

**How will Markko react to finding out what Langston's been up to? Can he get her to realize she has a problem and will she be put back in the system? Stay Tuned!**


End file.
